Book Review: DC Showcase Presents Aquaman Volume 1

DC Showcase Presents: Aquaman Volume 1
Writers: Robert Bernstein, Jack Miller, George Kashdan
Artists: Ramona Fradon, Nick Cardy, Lee Alias
Published by DC Comics, 2007
List Price: $16.99

In desperate need of water, Aquaman uses a rope to catch a wild goat

Aquaman has good aim squeezing that nipple. He must be a hit with the ladies!

To me, Aquaman is to the Justice League what the Wasp is to the Avengers. Pretty much useless baggage. Don't get me wrong, I've always liked the character but due to the fact that he can only be out of water for an hour or he dies, it kinda limits his mobility! Seems like he would be very easy to get rid of if you are a villain. In fact, in one of the stories in this book, "One Hour to Doom", Aquaman uses a land pursuit of a fleeing smuggler to train Aqualad on how to find unusual sources of water. At least in these stories they only have to have CONTACT with water each hour. They don't have to swim in it. In that story, the two roll around in snow, get water out of a rusted radiator, use a sprinkler system, stick their heads in a 20 gallon fish aquarium, and most hilariously of all, spray themselves in the face with fresh goat milk! Yes, this ACTUALLY happens. Apparently, in that story the writers forgot the rules and said that Aquaman and Aqualad only needed LIQUID every hour. So I guess they could have bathed in hydrochloric acid or nitroglycerine and had the same effect.

If the above summary tells you anything, it should be the fact that these Aquaman stories are just plain GOOFY. A more negative person might even use the word "stupid". The book starts with a origin story from Adventure Comics #260 titled "How Aquaman Got His Powers" from 1959, written by Robert Bernstein and drawn by Ramona Fradon. Fradon and Nick Cardy are mainly responsible for the art in this first volume. Aquaman's mom, Atlanna, is an exile from Atlantis, whose inhabitants can breath water and can control all the denizens of the deep with telepathy. She was kicked out of Atlantis for visiting the surface world. Atlantis doesn't come off too well here. It almost seems like a police state! In Aqualad's first apperance from Adventure Comics #269, Aqualad is kicked out of Atlantis simply for having purple eyes and being afraid of fish! I think Aquaman only actually visits Atlantis like once or twice in over 500 pages of comics.

Aquaman doesn't really face off against any super-villains in these stories. Mainly he fights against petty criminals, pirates, smugglers, aliens, evil scientists, and even an occasional sorceror or magical creature.

For some reason, he also wastes a lot of time delivering mail, getting involved in elections, staging an underwater olympics, and staging exhibitions to benefit charities! He even opens up a underwater hospital to give medical aid to ocean inhabitants!

The writers of these stories should be embarassed. In fact, a large number of credits list the writer as "unknown". They were probably too ashamed to put their name on some of these tales. The two main named writers are Robert Bernstein and Jack Miller. Some of the things that happened in these comics would be laughed at by a 3 year old. They just have no basis in reality, science, or any laws of physics even a first grader would know. To give you some examples, I will focus on "The Undersea Hospital".

Can animals read?

Um, there's no top dude. Um, how is that salt filling half the tank when it's open to the entire ocean?

Did you pick up that tank at Walmart?

Aquaman opens up a underwater hospital for fish, even hanging up signs with "Undersea Hospital", "Free Medical Help" and "Dr. Aquaman in Attendance" on them. Can fish READ? His first patient is an octopus with a sprained tentacle. First up, can an invertebrate even HAVE a sprain? Then he uses a lobster to pull out a shark's bad tooth. Shark teeth constantly fall out and are replaced anyway so that's a total waste of time. Then we have a dogfish that chased a catfish into fresh water (get it? dogfish chased a catfish!) and slipped into shock. So Aquaman decides to put the dogfish into a salt saturated tank....underwater....with no top on it, but with a door in the side....so um, how are you gonna keep the salt in an open tank at the bottom of the ocean. A majority of it would just dissipate in the ocean as you're pouring! OMG THEN he has a feverish sperm whale that he puts in an even BIGGER tank filled with chunks of ice from a "PASSING GLACIER".....um, do glaciers just pass by in the ocean?? I thought they move on land over thousands if not millions of years! And one just happened to be PASSING BY??  And do you know how big a sperm whale is?? I don't know about you, but I don't have too many 67 foot long fish tanks with broken up icebergs from a glacier floating in it.

Really, that one story shows the kind of shenanigans you're going to have to put up with in this collection. DC lost its way in the 1950s and 60s and descended into utter ridiculousness. It was almost like they were a parody of comics. I will admit that they started the Silver Age and should be lauded for bringing back super heroes, but Marvel really saved comics from the utter farce they became with DC. DC was so far behind Marvel in terms of writing that it wasn't until the 1970s that they could be taken seriously again. Thank God for Stan Lee, Ditko, and Kirby. I'm reading Essential Captain America Volume 1 right now, and it is so enjoyable. It's like the polar opposite of my experience reading Aquaman volume 1.

One of the things that made Aquaman at least halfway not useless in later comics was that he had super strength, but we really don't see that here. He can swim really fast, but I don't remember one instance in this volume where he did anything showing more than the strength of a normal man. He's not lifting cars, or beating up five guys at one time. He gets animals and fish to do all his heavy lifting. In fact, I would say that if he didn't have telepathy, he wouldn't be much of a threat to criminals.

As far as art, I really liked Ramona Fradon. Even with the inherently strict and conservative DC look of this time period, her talent breaks through. Her art is really too good for these stories! I wonder if she was ever sitting there drawing, thinking "WTF? Are you serious? I have to make a porcupine fish SHOOT its quills?" or "I have to draw Aquaman grabbing a goat's nipple and shooting a stream of milk into Aqualad's mouth?".  I didn't really like Nick Cardy's work because he draws in more Carmine Infantino style, another artist I don't care for. HIS average art DOES fit the subpar stories better though.

So what is my thought on whether this book is worth buying or not? I can't really say. I had never read any of these stories so I came into it blind. It's been a while since I had read any Silver Age DC Comics so I don't think I was mentally prepared for how awful these stories would be. My last experience had been with the first volume of Green Lantern and that was pretty sad. I would say this first volume of Aquaman is pretty much on that same level. I know there are DC Lovers out there who will hate on me for criticizing this book. They will say things like "Come on dude, these stories are fun" or "You don't know what you're talking about". Yeah, these stories were amusing, but not really in a comedic way. More in a "OMG I can't believe they actually wrote that!" way. I rolled my eyes a lot. I doubt I read any of the other volumes of Aquaman based on volume 1.

My Grade: F+ (the + is for Fradon's art, the only good thing about this volume)