Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (Movie Review)

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Directed by JJ Abrams
Written by JJ Abrams and Chris Terrio 

Kylo Ren THOUGHT he was Supreme Leader of the galaxy now that he killed Snoke. But hold the phone, The Emperor Palpatine is back in town, and he's got an almost infinite amount of Sith Star Destroyers waiting to take over the entire universe, or maybe multiple universes. He's old though, and feeble. He has to move around with what is essentially a big selfie stick with him on the end of it.

Palpatine tells Kylo that the fleet and the armies of the Sith can be his for the special low price of killing Rey. So Kylo sets out with his ever talkative Knights of Ren to hunt her down. When Rey, Poe, and Finn find out about their plans, they go on a fetch quest to hunt down Sith artifacts that will lead them to the Sith homeworld where they will.....well, they don't know.

This was actually my second viewing of this film. I saw it opening night about a month ago. It was a little too much information being thrown at me and I felt I needed to see it again to really judge it.

I hated Last Jedi. With a passion. I've tried to erase that film from my memory as though it never happened. So in my mind, Rise of Skywalker could only be an improvement. It couldn't get any WORSE. And that's what I got. A movie that was a more positive experience than the previous installment but that was also handicapped by it.

Think of Rian Johnson as a baby in a high chair sitting down to eat. He picks up the food and instead of eating it, throws it on the floor, and the parents have to keep on picking it up. That's what Rian did. He threw Star Wars on the floor in a tantrum or a "look what I can do" smugness and JJ Abrams had to pick up the mess. So Abrams had to waste part of his film addressing issues from the previous one before he could start his own.

To me, the best part of this new trilogy has been the duality of the relationship between Rey and Kylo. You can see that they care for one another and recognize a lot of similarities but they can just never seem to commit to one side or the other of the Force. "Come to me" "No, YOU come to ME" etc. Playing hard to get.

As far as Poe and Finn, I could care less about them. They're just no names. Darth Maul had more presence in Phantom Menace and he had maybe 15 minutes of screen time with hardly a word spoken. Some of the most cringey scenes are when our trio try to make playful small talk. I mean, it would be interesting if it was Han, Luke, and Leia. But Poe, Rey, and Finn are definitely the D list on chemistry.

Something that got me thinking was where the hell did the Emperor get all the cash to build all these Star Destroyers???? I mean there were THOUSANDS of ships as far as I could tell. And legions upon legions of Sith(?) to man them. If there were only two Sith, where did all these people come from?

And it wouldn't be Star Wars without a big climax where people have to blow something up. I mean, haven't we moved past that at this point where five out of nine episodes have to end with something exploding?

I am wondering whether Disney bit off more than it could chew with acquiring Lucasfilm. I think Kathleen Kennedy and her staff of Woke Writers were so cocky and full of themselves that they were like "hey, we don't need no George Lucas. We don't need almost 40 years of expanded universe lore. We're gonna make our OWN Star Wars. One with less white privileged people." So they went their own way. Which is how we got the mess we have now.

There is ONE small ray of hope. The Mandalorian. That show has the soul the movies so far have been missing. With characters we enjoy and love. I wonder if maybe the future of the franchise might eventually scrap movies all together and move to the small big screen.

I think the problem Disney has been having is the veering between paying too much homage to the old movies on one hand with Abrams and going the 180 and HATING the old movies like Johnson did. I think you can do both things at one time, which is the line The Mandalorian walks. You can mix old and new.

I will definitely be adding The Rise of Skywalker to my movie collection when it is available for sale. But nothing will ever make me accept Last Jedi as part of this trilogy.

My Grade: B+