Petronille by Amelie Nothomb

Petronille
By Amelie Nothomb
Published by Europa Editions, 2015
Print Price: $15.00

The author of this book, Amelie Nothomb, is also the main character and narrator of the novel. While the narrator shares factual data about her life, it's hard to know how much of this book is based on Amelie's real life and how much is imaginary. I didn't like the book enough to research further.

As the book begins, Amelie is already a successful published writer. The main thing she likes to do in her spare time is drink. And not just drink, get DRUNK. Her beverage of choice is champagne. If she gets drunk from it, Amelie is able to enter into a shamanistic realm of ecstasy. The only problem she has is that she has nobody to share her experience with. So she goes on the hunt to find a "comvivium", or drinking buddy.

At a signing for her newest book she meets Petronille Fanto, a young student in her early 20s who looks like a 15 year old boy with her jeans, short hair, and leather jacket. In Petronille she believes she has found the companion she has been searching for. The rest of the novel chronicles their on again off again friendship and drinking over the years as Fanto also becomes a celebrated writer.

Well, there is all kinds of hype all over this book on the inside jacket and front and back covers, most of which is WRONG.

First of all, there is a blurb saying the book is "an ode to friendship" and another stating "...a fascinating novel about the friendship between two women." To me, I never felt that Amelie and Petronille were "friends". There was no warm-hearted back and forth, no bond except of drinking. I saw them more as acquaintances that just crossed into each other's lives here and there. I never got the feeling they were more than that. The way it's blurbed on the back, it makes it sound like this novel is akin to the My Brilliant Friend series by Elena Ferrante, probably intentionally.

With all the hype for Nothomb, I feel like Europa is trying to guilt trip you into thinking this is an important book and that the author is an important writer. Amelie is the author of "...over 23 best selling novels...". She has published a novel a year, every year, since her debut. She's won all kinds of prizes. She's a "literary sensation". And besides that, she's just a cool person with "unconventional thinking" and an interesting "public persona".

Ok, Europa, I am NOT drinking your Kool-Aid. You need to back your nose, indeed your whole head and body out of this author's ass. That's how far you've oversold this writer. This is not an important book. Amelie is not an important author. Danielle Steel writes a lot of books, doesn't mean she's good. I'm supposed to be be somehow impressed that she cranks or hacks out a book a year. I'm supposed to be impressed that she writes bestsellers. Have you seen the American bestseller list and what kind of crap gets on THAT?

And Europa is also trying to sell me the "personality" of Nothomb. Like she's some kind of literary Kim Kardashian. Oooo, everyone in France thinks she's interesting, you will too! She just looks like a middle aged woman that wears stupid hats to me.

As for the story itself, it's pretty flimsy. It goes pretty much like this: "Petronille, do you want to get drunk on champagne?"...."Sure, Amelie!"....drinking commences. If this book is even MILDLY autobiographical, Amelie Nothomb must be the most vapid and shallow person I ever hope NOT to meet. They never talk of anything with any substance. There is no wisdom. No insight into the human character. They just like to get drunk. In my world, if all you do for fun is get drunk, you are an ALCOHOLIC.

Don't get me wrong, there was ONE amusing scene. When the two women go on a skiing trip and just let the champagne bottles chill in the snow. Then they have the bright idea to ski holding a bottle in one hand and a pole in the other. Petronille even decides to take swigs AS she's skiing. If they had cars they probably would have been doing the DWI scene as well and gotten someone killed.

If this book had been longer than 122 pages I don't think I would have made it through the whole thing. She has another novel coming out from Europa next week and I will definitely skip it. I don't buy into her hype, her characters, her writing, or her themes (are there any?). Meg by Steve Alten was a better book than this!

My Grade: F